Pop went the weasel, popping I will go

                               

 SIDE A: (Melancholia)

I took pride in calling myself a stoic, but the truth was that l could no longer feel pleasure or pain
Words went off first making me mum, people followed later making me lonely and insane
The brain felt like it’s getting ripped apart, and the body firmly planted to the bed
With the emptiness hovering all around me, I was gradually sinking into a sense of dread

Copies of me were dead already, the other me(s) struggling to keep afloat
Soul felt like a tiny blood-clot , and the body seemed like a capsized boat
The black just got blacker and the dead just went deader
Partly maimed and wholly bruised, the heart got thicker and redder

Suddenly, I felt a jerk, twisting, twirling and throwing me into an abyss
The soul still felt hollow and the body barebones, which l hardly seemed to miss
The numb me kept falling through the abyss, each passing bit getting number
The endless fall seemed almost therapeutic now, putting me into the slumber

Suddenly, a loud thud followed a not so loud groan, l saw my body ricocheting off the ground
Several seconds later, peace prevailed, the ‘body’ sveltely interred inside the soil mound
My trance then got trounced after an infinity, and then the reality dawned slowly but surely
There were pills to be popped and questions to be answered, but with a little less of me purely






SIDE B: (The Mayhem)

Paranoia is giving way to euphoria, and despair is giving way to sanguinity totally unprovoked
The tingling serenity feels so much better, gradually getting the negativities revoked
I feel so high without no drugs, and the life seems overwhelmingly set on the track
I feel so agile and high that it seems l will find my place and there will be no looking back

Writhing with the joy and getting clobbered with pangs of ecstasy, l feel l don’t need no drowse
With 22  hours at my bay, l decide to tap into this newly evolved power which l didn’t ever browse
I work and keep working on all the pending and not so pending stuff with blistered digits and enraptured heart
I feel empowered cocooned in my  world and seek no validation, the inevitable end seems to have no start

Squirming entrails and wriggling bellies, still on  a high, even death doesn’t scare no more
Death is, but, a one last surge of pulsation,  no pleasure has  ever hurt no one for sure
Getting labelled a maniac on a self destructive spree, as if I care or need validation
Oozing glee and reeking semblance, distanced and aloof, I can smell my salvation

Not sure If I am dead or alive, lacerations for sure no longer tingle
I can see a silhouette looming over me, beckoning my soul to mingle
I am inwardly sure the shape belongs to a clown, though not a coulrophobe, l lie there stunned
In the search of peace, that was never mine, I languish somewhere eternally shunned






Liner notes:
Depression is real and mental health is something that can’t be overlooked. Physical ailments are but all treatable if you spare the moolah, but psychological issues if unchecked can make your survival hell in its own bizarre ways. Nobody would like to talk to several personalities within themselves(MPD) or hurting their near ones for attention(Munchausen Syndrome). These are just some of the problems. Please, get the required help if ever you feel anything wrong with your mental well being.
Suicide is not the solution to anything. I have been pro-life my entire life. Lets fight our demons and lets live. If you ever need any help on this issue feel free to reach AASRA helpline(24/7,365 days) on 022 2754669. Aasra is India’s first NGO dedicated wholly to suicide prevention.

©Sanan Kashyap, 2019

To my soul

This was my first poem composed when I was barely 16.
I had a very hard teenage and at that time while writing this piece, I wanted to infuse all the pain and everything else that I went through.Reading it now,it seems funny ,but the humor is seriously unintentional. :)

TO MY SOUL

Tell me, just ,who art thee,

why it pains, when I pee
I want to know who you are,
ruining me and my virility this far.

Why my self is against me,
And my cognition taking away my glee.
Can’t the things done be undone,
To behold again myself enjoying the sun

Are you an infatuation , or seduction,
If no, then what is behind my deviation.
Why my life has been screwed to hell,
and the reason behind revolt of every cell. ( of body)

Soul speaks out,
The reason does not lie in the course of star,
It’s you , your intuition and your self war .

Misery Movie Review.

The movie came out way back in 1990.I had read the original novel by Stephen king sometime in 2014.It has been over three years since I read the novel,but the novel was so well characterized and plot so soundly developed that it's still fresh in my memory.

The problem with most of the adaptations has two considerations. First is the degree to which the movie remains loyal to the novel and secondly,to what degree has director been able to project the nuances and intricacies of the plot in the movie.To convert a 600 page book into a 90 odd minutes feature film and to pack in the whole essence of the novel in itself is a daunting task.Misery movie remains loyal to the novel latching on to the basic plot structure of the later.The Second consideration is the major problem with this flick.Misery novel was astoundingly good and I would rate it close second to the other masterpiece "The Shining" from the 'King'.Movie as mentioned earlier remains loyal to the plot,but struggles in inheriting the nuances and little details that made the novel so readable.

The lead actors' performances are strictly okay. The casting falls prey to the poor character development.The protagonist Cann underplays his character so much that his face remains expressionless almost throughout the movie(even toward the end when he is out of the fiasco,safe in NY).Kathy Bates tries a little too hard.The utter lack of the character development in the plot plagues the cast to no end.Her intermittently changing demeanor seems comical sometimes.One of the few positive points in the casting side would be the characters of the town's sheriff and his wife.It provides a little comic relief to otherwise a drub plot.By not getting overtly loud ,these two have managed to justify their casting.

Shoot location and cinematography are awesome.Coloradan winters were effectively caught in the reel.Even the interiors were well shot going with the ambiance and mood of the movie.

Verdict:If you have read the novel, you can avoid the movie.Otherwise, you may watch the movie, but the novel is far better than this silver screen fare.

My Ratings:
Overall:2/4
Plot:2/4
Direction:1.5/4
Cast:1.5/4
Cinematography:3.5/4